new blog:
http://sephat-endme.blogspot.com
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
11:46 PM
okay final entry to really wrap up everything before i officially move.
haha.
to all those that had been concerned.
im fine.
but please dont bitch about him in front of me.
i dont really hate him as much as he hates me.
in fact im only being childish.
hating him cause he hates me.
and erm actually bitching about him doesnt really help.
to be totally honest, he had been very nice.
so i dont really feel very good when you all do that.
oh and please no personal attacks
i know sometimes ppl just wanna sympathize.
i thank you for trying but.
i think i tackle this better on my own.
and the he's not worth it part,
i think its subjective to each individual.
[this applies to you esp, kai]
im sorry if i sound a lil mean to you.
i still treasure you as a friend okayy.
well, the best is now that im not so affected by anything,
i hope pple will stop asking me about it.
oh, and miss piu, dont feel guilty laa.
/huggs.
i thought it thru.
its not really your fault.
circumstances.
sometimes things happens without a reason.
no necessity for explanation.
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
12:38 AM
:):))
new blog. this is so fun
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
7:35 PM
i think i dont need to clarify what you made up;
an assumption that i pushed the blame on you.
well, it aint surprising if you feel that way.
i guess i do give ppl the feeling that i love shifting blames.
please believe your classmates.
nobody told me anything.
i found it out myself.
and how about everything that i found out was purely accidental.
in any case, im still a lil sceptical about whoever you like.
but its none of my business anyw,
even if you lie,
maybe its cause of a secret you wanna keep.
lol. you know it doesnt matter whether the person you like is mary/jane/emily/siti
hospital/no hospital.
i dunno her.
i just know you like her.
anyw i really hope your friend in hospital's fine.
she is young and still have a whole life ahead of her.
im really sorry for screwing up your life.
its alright if you hate me.
i deserve it.it took so long to sink in.
hurting every inch as it etch deeper.
- you hate me.
when the words engraved heal
hopefully the pain will do the same.
how am i suppose to hate you
when i like you so much
yet its something i know i must do.
guess you'll never know.
and i rather you not.
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
9:25 PM
say what you want.
say what you freaking like.
did i ever blame you?
no.
nobody said its your fault.
you just left without explaining anything.
so i just came up with what i thought happened.
which is namely it turned out awkward.
cause pple arnd us will inevitably make it that way.
so obviously ur choice was friends first.
did i critisize you?
say its ur fault?
no.
cause that's the way it should be.
anyw if that's the case, you could have told me.
not disappear and leave me dangling.
naturally, i had to make sense out of it.
you know, i know you liked someone else damn long ago maybe like since july last yr.
i just din know who.
so how about i tried in all possible sense to make it seem like ur a nice guy who still really like her
just confused for a while.
fuck it.
and there you are making things up urself or someone else did.
and now say i did it.
fineee.
hello, i wont wanna tell the world how i liked a bastard righttt.
i dont even want to believe i liked a jackass.
i wanted an answer.
you wont give it.
and if you want to know,
i was never sad cause you chose to leave.
it was your decision.
i respected it.
i wasnt even sad when i found out the almost complete truth about her.
in fact i was happy.
glad that you are who i thought you were.
someone who once they liked someone liked them for long.
and not some player.
which i admit i did pressume at one point of time.
[i think you know why]
and i was disappointed cause you aint who i thought you were.
upright and moral.
but after figuring out that no one lies without a reason, dismissed it
and CLEARED it with those that i told to.
ask those ppl who you think i told/"bitched" to
5 ppl to be exact.
you want clue?
K WJ G and one i cant say.
and another one who doesnt want to be dragged into this.
im just upset that that period screwed up a friendship.
tho fleeting for me
i wished it never happened.
anyw
you are so right.
so what if i know what's in ur life.
i wont understand you.
everything i know about you are just intuitive assumptions.
you din have to think about anything cause you knew what you were thinking.
while i hardly have a clue on what goes on in ur mind.
plus i wasnt even sure if u left cause of something i've done.
and if it was, of course i had to think what it was.
cause well, i liked you and i wont in any way wanted to hurt you intentionally.
me?
i think im perfect?
i wasnt even good enough for you.
but well, in any case,
since you hate me,
i hate you too.haix, you hate me,
I hate me .
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
11:12 PM
aye.
what's the matter with you ah.
you think i dont know what its over means?
erm, i do.
and hello,
how about i dont even want you to like me.
and if you think my concern as a friend
is a gesture that i want something more
or an attempt to try go back to where we left off,
you have greatly mistaken my dear.
i just find ur attitude towards me rather disturbing.
please stop it.
just take it as im begging you.
well, what can i say.
i know more than you think i do;
know it longer than you think i do too.
stay faithful to her, darling. x)
im sure you would.went np after school today to find steph! XDDD
miss her uber super much.
anyw she seems happy. that's good.
den we went for some stupid photoshoot so spastic cann!
the 'sword' is like a wooden block.
i felt corny posing.
i cant help but laugh at the slightest thing.
from the photographer to the stick to myself.
and the photo was like YUCKS.
had free waffle, popcorn and candyfloss!
CHEAPSKATES' HAVEN i tell you.
but i not so cheapo to get the goodie bag.
ohoh and we played the count the number of fish games and i won.
[with a lil help]
two movie tickets to i dunno what!
further details on monday.
den we went to irritate a year 3.
damn funny.
he doesnt even know his work!
anyhow say what neutralization
steph had to correct him and he so pai seh.
lalala i <3 steph.
secrets secrets.
den went to meet sherman.
waited for 2 hours.
so hardworking eh.
earning big bucks.
to buy his bro a psp.
how noble.
sian. complain about school, about life etc.
how i hated going to school every single day.
ah wells.
guys and girls are so different.
everything kept at friend level is the best.
i guess i myself aint ready for no shit yet either.
well, a conclusion drawn is: being a girl is tough.
if you like many guys, you are desperate, slut and what have you.
if you like one and only one, you are irritating.
the best thing is the person that you like is the one that finds you irritating.
BRAVO.
i wonder which is better.
ah wells.
life's like this.
you wont be able to get what you want.
i guess that's where the kicks come in.
no pain, no gain.
well, not wanting anything'll be the best.
aye aye aye.
i was liddat.
read my older blogs recently.
i was carefree
and well, more friend base.
though i sound damn ah lian.
with all the wah liao damn jian leh etc.
but i guess i was funnier then too.
anyw then sherman so nice walk me home cause is late.
SO THOUGHTFUL HUH.
i've never walked home from clementi so late at night before.
its quite cooling i guess.
sweet.
actually i wouldnt have known my area was such a nice place till he pointed out.
saw a freaky old man fully clad in white.
from hair to the crop shirt, the pants and the shoes.
scary.
gaa. training tmr. sleeping now.
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
11:37 PM
thanks to all you concerned ppl.
im not sad.
worried half the time maybe but im not sad!!
okay maybe a lil irritated at some situations BUT, im not sad. =D
if anything, im writing in code cause erm well, =)
one day.
one day when drafts turn into entries.
lalala. anyw, enjoy this yummylicious boy.
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
8:08 PM
i hope he uses this opportunity to show her that he cares.
anyw im glad she's fine. =D
im sucha paranoid freak. aha.
thanks god. i owe you one. ;)
i can finally sleep in peace.
imfeelingmurderouswithanAK-47
4:22 PM
